November 24, 2004 - 6:10 p.m.

I was sitting here getting fat and I started thinking....Does anyone here know what I do?

Snake: Yeah! You pack batteries at a battery factory. And you're big boned.

STOP CALLING ME FAT!

Snake: Youch.. *goes back to playing Tetris*

I thought maybe I'd tell you guys what I do now that I know exactly what it is I do...

I work in a warehouse, and I gather product to be shipped to different locations in Canada. It used to be hard, but now it's almost second nature.

Here's what I do all day:

- Pick oder from box
- Groan because it is either a little order or a huge frikkin order that takes forever to do.
- Get my pumpcart!
- Dodge the loser new girl because she's always in the way.
- Laugh when idiot new gilr trips over something.
- Mock idiot new girl behind her back.
- I actually get around to picking the order (let's assume it's a little one) and I print out paper to tape to it so it knows where to go and then the wrapper wraps it up.
- Go back and pick an order again, wincing when it's a huge one.

Luke: Mocking the new girl? You ARE the new girl.

Nope, she started the day after me. And she's an idiot.

Audience Member #44: As dumb as that idiot from that cell phone commercial?

I have no idea who you are talking about...

Anna is a loner. No one likes talking to her because she goes on and on about nothing. Frankly, I hate talking to her because she takes ten minutes to talk about how she likes THAT pumpcart because she KNOWS it. ......I dont know either.

A few incidences come to mind...

Anna: Where's the radio? (We have a battery operated radio in the plant)

(No one knew. Turns out a coworker stole it and hid it from Anna as a joke.)

(Later..)

Anna: Oh! There it is! I guess someone took it home to put new batteries in it because it was a little low on battery power!

Yeah because you know, we work at a BATTERY factory so where the hell would we find batteries? Blows my mind..

We have a shipping company called Consolidated Fast Freight that take our shipments out west to BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan, etc. So to tell which place our product needs to be dropped off at is determined by putting stickers on it.

Example:

CFF CAL: These go to Calgary
CFF WIN: Winnipeg
CFF VIC: Victoria BC
CFF REG: Regina
CFF SASK: Saskatoon

So Anna went to put her sticker on it and noticed we were out of CFF REG ones.

"So if Reg doesnt look after this one, who does?"

Reg is a forklift driver at the Plant. She thought CFF REG was a CFF shipment that Reg was responsible for. You may not laugh at it but it's damn funny where Im from!

But when you think about it, CAL, VIC and possibly WIN are guys names too... but there are no Cal's at the Plant. So now we joke about CFF.

"I gotta give this to Cal because it says 'ship today'. Anyone seen Cal?"

"I like Cal."

"He's sexy."

"Of course he's sexy! Him and Vic are twins!"

...and crap like that.

Seeing as this entry was full of quotes, Im not going to put a quote down.

Dont forget to roll your eyes at this entry,

Lara

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