December 03, 2004 - 6:32 p.m.

I have a fantasy.

Audience Member #42: Ew! Keep it to yourself!

It's not dirty! Well...not that dirty..

Luke: Tell us about your week first, then gross people out..

Okay, okay..

Yesterday my buddy Kris and I were chosen to paint a cabinet at work, but we didnt want to ruin our pants, so we asked for coveralls. These coveralls were a disposable one size fits all thing that looked like it was made out of a jay-cloth. They had hoods too. We wore them all day, looking like blue aliens. We spoke in funny voices and wore the hoods up to look 50% more retarded! Then we spiced up our 'flight suits' by putting hazard tape and stickers on the backs of them. We had such a great time. I dont ever recall having that much fun at work or laughing so hard!

Luke: You didnt gross them out, but you certainly scared them off...

Yeah yeah. *Sits down beside Snake, who is eating beef jerky and reading a gun magazine* My brother bought that new Metal Gear Solid game... "Snake Eater". It's a great game. Can never get enough of Snakey-poo!

Snake: That guy was my dad..

I know, but he looks like you!

Snake: Lara, you're going to have to choose! Me or him!

You, of course! You sexy bad boy. Oh, stop blushing!

Audience Member #77: That's your fantasy?? Snake?

Yes and no.. I bought a game called "Need for Speed Underground 2" and it has all sorts of 'phat' cars that are really 'dope'. I want to date a guy with a sexy car like one of those! I mean, it'd just be so great to drive around in a sexy car, or to watch a race! Snake could be driving!

Snake: I have a car..

Really?

*Snake points to the Toyota*

Snake: That's him! See? The grey one with the dents and the mismatching wiper?

That's my brother's car!

Snake: What!?

Yeah, when he started working he claimed that car. Didnt you know that?

Snake: No one tells me anything around here!! Now what do I drive??

Luke: You dont go anywhere! And when you do, you walk there.

Snake: Yeah but someday I might go somewhere!

Luke: That's what the bus is for...

OKAY! No fighting! Snake, you could buy one of those nice cars I was just talking about.

Snake: But that one has the nifty cup holder! And I preset all the radio stations to the ones I like!

Luke: Like you cant do that with another car. It's not like cup holders are rare. *rolls his eyes*

Snake: But...but... *sits down, defeated*

Oh, Snake.... *hugs him* You'll find something you like. How about a motorcycle? Or one of those dumb scooters that are really popular in europe?

Snake: Whatever.. *sulks*

"I don't give a crap about you and your company." - Snake doesnt tolerate people in business.

The mullet is coming back in style,

Lara

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