February 05, 2005 - 2:44 p.m.

*Solid Snake hold up a sign that says "Greetings, one and all!"*

Today was a weird day. Still is, actually. Good news and not so good news all bundled up in a happy ray of snow melting sunshine!

I got some college acceptance stuff today. I could be a Spa Assistant if I wanted to. Not my first choice but I know it's available to me. I have a conditional acceptance to an Industrial Lab Program and they want me to write a test for my Medial Lab program.

But the kicker is I already wrote the test! So why should I have to write it again?

Snake: Because they like you and want to see your lovely face again?

I dont think so, Snake. They probably just havent processed the test I wrote them. Backlogs, you understand. *stands up a little straighter* Im going to sort it all out on Monday! HUZZAH!

Luke: That's your bad news?

Well I heard some weird news...I dont know if it's bad.. My friend is pregnant. It seems like all my friends are pregnant! Is there nothing else to do around here except have sex? Sex sex sex! BLAH! And the father is a loser! She knows it, I know it, we all know it! She's called him a loser! So why have sex with him?

Snake: People have needs.

Snake! *slaps him* That's horrible!

Snake: Ow! *rubs cheek* Since when are you a nun?

Im not a nun!! I have standards! Why screw a loser? EWWWWW!

Luke: And that's why you're single.

Yes! I'd rather be single than have a loser for a boyfriend, thank you! Luke, you should know this! You have crazy standards!

Luke: Im agreeing with you! Dont screw losers! Alright! Alright!!

That is my rant! Girls! Think responsibly!! Dont sleep with losers! If you want a kid, go to New York City while you are ovulating and hit a hip bar full of millionaries, bang him, get his address, and voila! Your kid's education is paid for!

Snake: You're scaring us! Have some pie!

SCARING YOU? What ever on earth--oooo! Pie! *grabs a piece and dashes off*

Snake: Pie solves everything! Even world hunger!

Luke: What about AIDS?

Snake: There's an active ingredient in pie that helps with AIDS.

Luke: Like obesity. It'll kill you before AIDS will.

Snake: Smartass.. Im going to end this! Lemme think up a neat quote!

"Hey!" - Fonzie

Luke: That's your quote? It's so awe-inspiring...

Snake: I know sarcasm when I see it!

Signing off,

Snake

LUKE

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