April 04, 2005 - 9:22 p.m.

I went to bed so angry last night.

I lost a lot of sleep. I dont even know why exactly. Someone told my friend to shut up in a malicious way (to put it in the nicest way possible) and I wasnt there, so why should I care? It just seemed so irrational to be so angry at something I had no power to change and yet there I was, laying in bed and fuming, rehearsing things I would say (which were not very lady-like in the least). It seems rather silly now...but it breaks my heart to see my friends get hurt in any way at all.

There's three of me. The Guardian, the woman that looks out for everyone, the commassionate one that watches her back and protects those she loves.

There's the Child, who just sits in the corner and cries and prays everything will be alright.

Then there's the Fury who's every raw emotion one can imagine... But mostly just angry about stuff that cannot be changed...

And every day is like putting on clothes you pick what emotion of the three you're going to take with you today. A little Guardian mixed with Fury...a dash of Child but just a dash, because I have to be strong today... I dont care if that makes me sound scitzo cuz thats how I feel. Red (Fury), Green (Guardian) and Black (Child). I think it's in everyone...but everyone has different names for it. This is what I thought about, lying in bed, glaring at the ceiling. Just putting a visual perspective on my personality was an interesting half hour of insomnia.

"But it's your favorite I hate, more's the pity," Trebel Charger's song about multiple personality 'More's the Pity'.

- Lara

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